Unintentionally so, my first post is a personal one. But as I stated in my intro post, one of my main reasons for blogging is to share my experiences with others, so that I may connect with and learn from others. Though I won’t be delving into the deep, dark, fantastical corners of my life, I will be sharing some personal ideas.
While it may be nearing the end of February, 2015 is still pretty new. I think it’s still relevant to speak about what I learned from the previous year and what I’d like to see for myself this year. Specifically though, I’ve been quite focused on what 2014 taught me. Not to be dramatic, but 2014 was the worst, most exhausting year I’ve experienced emotionally, financially, physically, just overall. Through all it though, I definitely learned A LOT. With everything coming down on me, I was reminded of many things I’ve always known and shown other things through situations I’ve never been through.
The Lessons from 2014 that I’d like to focus on first are those reminders, the things I’ve always known, but had forgotten during the struggles of last year.
- Keep Moving: I found myself immovable as certain emotions overwhelmed me. Anger, sadness, annoyance, frustration, shock…I’d find myself just sitting still and unable to focus on tasks or people around because I’d allow emotions to take over. I’ve never been someone who’d let emotions keep me from doing my best, so it was to my surprise when I saw such behavior. It would take some time, but I knew I needed to get that out of my life. I was held back. It went from missing an exhibit of my favorite designer, to being unable to focus on a midterm, to having artist block during a crucial time period, setting back the progress of my college career. I credit many of my latenesses, sleepless nights, and unproductive days to just being unable to move. Even socially, sometimes finding it too much to focus on a conversation. The solution to this was simple: Just move. Just go, push through. And I did. It made such a huge improvement in my life, even in the way that I reacted to the negative situations causing the emotions. I was reminded of the healthy ways I would handle emotional stress in the past and improved those methods as well.
- Overestimation Can Be a Setup for Failure: It was a challenge trying to find a way to name this lesson. When I speak of overestimating, I’m speaking solely about people and who they really are. Just as underestimating someone can cause very negative outcomes, so does overestimating. I made the mistake, repeatedly, last year of overestimating a couple of people completely, from their place in their lives to the values they held and much more. By overestimating, I lessened my ability of getting to know who they really were and essentially didn’t give them much of a chance. And it didn’t matter if my preconceived thoughts of them were mainly positive. It’s unfair to place a certain amount of expectations and ideas on people, especially while trying to get to know them and especially when I’m normally very open to letting people show me who they are. Pretty much, I recognized that my overestimation was apart of why i felt so confused, disappointed, and frustrated with these relationships. I practiced just accepting that and accepting these people for who they really were. Along with many other efforts, I see these relationships transforming into what they were meant to be, whether strong or barely there. There’s a noticeable change in myself and my involvement in these relationships.
- BE MYSELF!!!: I cannot stress this enough. I think everyone can be reminded everyday to not hold back or imitate another or hide themselves. My biggest problem in 2014, was holding back and hiding away some of my best qualities because I did not want to deal with the responses of others. I’m still in awe at some of the times where I’ve held my tongue or stopped myself from displaying a positive action because of the reactions I would get. I pretended to be ok with disrespect and negativity, I stepped away from interests and hobbies that I love, I stayed quiet during times I should have spoken, stayed when I should have left, left when I should stayed! I dulled my shine! And for what? Unhappiness? I am truly unhappy when I am not being myself, when I am not pushing for my best self. That alone is enough for me to always BE MYSELF!
I’m fairly certain I’ll be making a series of these over several weeks because 2014 was such an important year for my personal growth and I’d like to share these lessons. I want to thank anyone in advance who read through this entire post and I am completely open to any feedback.
Till next time,
Note: To give a little update on posts I’ll be publishing soon, they are centered around style, diy, beauty, and college. If that’s up your alley, then I hope you stick around =D